Our society is so focused on higher education right now and making it seem like that’s the most important thing. It isn’t.
If you’re in your mid 20s to mid 30s and found yourself questioning, “what the f*ck am I doing with my life?!”. You begin to feel like you’re not serving your life “purpose”. It’s like you’ve dug yourself into a hole and you don’t know how to get out. Anxiety, stress, and depression begin to take over. You feel stuck and unfulfilled. You crave drastic change. Welcome to your quarter life crisis! There is no exact milestone for this type of experience, as everyone’s life goes on a different timetable.
CRISIS OF WORK, CRISIS OF RELATIONSHIPS, OR ALL OF A COLLECTION
All of sudden, life slapped you across the face, and you despise what you’re seeing. You’re frustrated and dissatisfied with your career path, finance, location, relationships, how you’re spending your free time…or just everything around. Experiencing a quarter life crisis is quite common. It is a period of uncertainty. A journey of transition. An opportunity to find yourself. Alicia — Quora “My quarter life crisis happened at 29 years old. I was in a healthy marriage with two thriving children. I had a college degree and owned my own home and two vehicles. Sounds peachy right? Well it suddenly hit me: this is my life until I retire which would more than likely not be for at least another 30 years. I had been working so hard for so long to achieve all those goals and then BAM! All the hard work was done and I was just expected to coast until retirement. I was desperate for a purpose, a goal, something new to work for, something, anything. Instead of coaching little league or advancing my degree I chose to start going out to clubs. I fell into debt by living beyond my means. I started abusing drugs looking for a mental release. My marriage started falling apart. I left him for another man. New guy dumped me six months later. I had never lived alone and now I had an abundance of “freedom”. I fell further into debt and corruptive living. It took me quite some time to realize how selfish and ungrateful I was being. Once I started realizing how bad I messed things up I reverted back to the simple life. Slowly things started to return to normal. I quit the drugs and partying, reunited with my husband and now I’m perfectly content with simply working, saving, paying the bills and understanding that I have it made. There was no reason for me to spiral out of control and thankfully I’ve recovered.”
When EVERYTHING Sinks to the Bottom, Going Up Become THE ONLY CHOICE
You realize you have been on “autopilot”, living a life that doesn’t exactly satisfy you or, more importantly, make you happy. So, let’s begin to do some serious soul searching. People experience the stress of a quarter life crisis; and it is not easy to escape. This is why most people give up or postpone making the changes necessary to find happiness and satisfaction in life. What is going to separate you from the others is the actions you take during this period. It means that the most unpleasant emotions have taken turns torturing your soul. After that storm, you’ll find yourself left alone with your own soul, the only thing original and unbreakable. And when you begin to face and see yourself, you will begin to find a way out. I don’t want to say too much about how that crisis unfolded. But with all the shimmer that social networks bring to you, behind there are still people with real emotions, real people and pain that couldn’t be more real. So don’t think that it’s unfair that things only happen to you. Because everyone will have to go through it before really growing up. Don’t think of yourself as a victim of the worst, that’s just part of what life wants you to experience to forge the strength inside of you.
How to Deal with it?
Hit the Restart button I do love starting all over again from scratch because then I have no pressure to be more than anything, I am free to do things I’ve never done, to experience things like never before, and free to hope for anything on the other side. And that’s how I found the motivation to face what happened.The important thing is not easy or not, but whether we start to get up and find the way out. And sometimes, it will all be the challenges of life to give you not only a stronger, more mature person, but also the opportunities to get out of your comfort zone forever that you will never reach. Crisis is scary, but it’s more scary is to not find a way out of it.
Stay out of Social Media
How many times have we all sat in our pyjamas scrolling up and down to see someone enjoying their overseas vacations, their anniversary, their marriages, promotions, visiting orphanages, and volunteering? The truth is that we’re all doing very much the same thing. We all get dressed up and go out on occasion, and when we do, we post about it. We make it appear as though we’ve been living the high life. But, in truth, those two to three hours of laughter may have been effectively recorded in that moment and that’s all there was to it. Put down your phone! Limit your time on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and all other social media platforms. Your time is valuable and should be spent on self-improvement rather than researching people’ lives. It’s also vital to keep in mind that individuals choose what you view. They only report on the highs and never on the lows. These are unattainable goals that could harm your self-esteem.
Spend time reflecting yourself
This is when the action comes in. It’s the “scary” part. You’ve walked to the edge of the cliff, and now it’s time to take the jump. There are dreamers, and then there are doers. Which one are you?
Look at your life now. Your job. Your location. Your relationships. Whatever it is that is making you unhappy or that you want to change. Write down a list.
Now cut those things out.
Hate your job? — Quit. Hate where you’re living? — Move. In a toxic relationship? — Breakup.
I understand it’s easier said than done. But, making cuts is how you can take action now. Action is the key to change.
Cutting aspects out from your life will also give you the space to explore other routes. Explore and discover things that interest you.
Find the comfort in your closed friends and family
Make a request for assistance and advise! So you’re not alone, tell someone what you’re going through. It’s very likely that one of your friends or family members has been in a similar scenario. They’re there to support you and hold your hand through this difficult time. You are not required to be completely alone. It’s never too late to make oneself joyful, at the end of the day. A quarter-life crisis is a wake-up call to make the changes you need to cherish the life you’ve created. The journey there will be challenging, and it may take longer than you anticipate. But don’t forget about your objectives, and don’t lose up on them (or yourself).
Quynh Trang Tran
Marketing and Mental Health Writer. Currently living in Toronto.
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